It’s Good to Have Goals

Well, that’s it I suppose. I ran the Saskatchewan Marathon last Sunday.  Thank you for all the sentiments and I’m flattered by all the website visits.  There were around 200 hits in the 2 days following the race.  Here are a few appropriate pictures…

In fine form…

You can run faster when a camper is chasing you (and how’d this guy get on the course?)…

This photo accurately relays how I felt after the race…

Following the race, from May 26th through June 3rd I’d been a champion of gluttony and sloth. For those among you who have concerns about my purposely disregarding capital vices, I’ll have you know that I am a model of piousness when it comes to the other five (except maybe lust, but really, we only see each-other on weekends).  On June 4th (Wednesday) I returned to the gym.  Point forward I will adopt the opposing virtues of patience, temperance, and diligence. If you’re waiting for me to earmark chastity, forget it.

During my return to the gym my legs might as well have been flailing octopus tentacles while my wind approximated that of an 80 year old chronic paint huffer. I made it through the hour; however, it represented an awful workout. What I can tell you is that afterward, I felt absolutely incredible. Initially, I found that odd.

I hadn’t realized it until after that workout, but for the 10 days following my race, I hadn’t been quite right. Physically I felt lethargic, managed headaches, and didn’t sleep well. What’s worse, between my ears I’d felt uncertain, inadequate, and lacked confidence. These characteristics, while unnoticeable to those around me, presented themselves quite plainly. I was skittish and non-committal with friends and family while introducing an astounding dose of insecurity into my relationship. Immediately after yesterdays workout these oddities (effectively) dissipated.

It seems I am an individual who requires…rather survives…on goals. I need to set positive ones, I need to allow my disposition to carry me to their end, and I need to quickly set new ones. There is an inherent danger that once I have reached a particular goal I will immediately flounder; thereby failing to sustain any improvement in my four areas of concern (relationships, finance, career, and health). In the past I haven’t always managed my goals appropriately and I believe it has cost me…

I was a brilliant kindergartner. I did not require velcro anything, I didn’t eat chalk, and I hardly ever crapped my pants.  In the second grade I faked a speech impediment so that I could pursue an affair with the buxom guidance counsellor.  Through middle school I fell victim to the garbage that claims many potential students. This culminated in my nearly failing the 6th grade (literally, although I was no mathematician either).  My parents cleverly correlated the absence of a post-secondary education with a life of poverty and despair (I may have read Jean Valjean in there somewhere too). I went from Sweat-Hog to scholarship and remained an honor student until graduation. I was enthusiastically welcomed into the University of Saskatchewans Engineering program.  Having struck my target, I promptly sat back and watched the world go round as I flunked.  This was as much an error in goal setting as it was in anything else (yes, I am well aware that the loose liquor and cheap women didn’t help).

To compound my present issue (an urgency to set new goals), those four areas of my life which I ponder ad naseum have never been better. It seems, or seemed, that those areas were constantly atop a four pronged seesaw that demanded some dive when others rise.  Before college, I was a 19 year old stud, completely in love, had no career, and absolutely no money. In college, I was a 21 year old stud, dated enthusiastically, worked toward a promissory note good for one career, and had absolutely no money. After college, I was a 26 year old coronary, my relationship was held together by a lack of conviction, I had been promoted 3 times in 2 years, and I had some money.  Presently, I’m of reasonable physical stature, I’m with the most wonderful woman in the world, I am very grateful to my employer, and I don’t lack for what I want.  It’s difficult for me not to think of those areas as four plates spinning atop wooden sticks (with history demonstrating that I’ve the capacity to manage only two plates).   There’s an arrogant irony here in that I’m effectively complaining about how happy I am; however, I think it’s really a matter of wanting to do what I have to in order to preserve that state.  I’ll be the first to admit that I spend far (far) too much time trying to be happy and much too little time being happy (but I think we all do that).

So for the last ten days I have been struggling to choose an appropriate goal lest Karma, the cosmos, and/or simply my own self-fulfilling sub-conscious penalize me.

First I spoke to Michael Horbay at Team Diabetes in Saskatoon. We plotted/schemed to have me raise $6100.00 for the diabetics of the world so that I may run Decembers Honolulu Marathon (on that foundations dime). I considered this seriously before declining the invitation. It’s simply too close to my September trip to San Francisco. This was a bit of a downer; however, that marathon isn’t going anywhere and I’ve no plans to discontinue racing.

Yesterday Brian Michasiw called me in response to an email I’d sent him earlier this week. Brian is the owner of Brainsport and winner of the 2007 and 2008 Saskatchewan Marathons. I’ll admit I was significantly enamoured.  I’d asked him for a sense of my ability and any direction he could provide. He gave me plenty of good information and pointed out (multiple) areas in which I could improve my training. One thing he did say was that I, “may improve by as much as an hour on my next marathon time.” Suffice to say his implication (however tempered and unlikely) that I could run a 2:42 marathon, made me feel like racing.

With that in mind I’ve committed to three races of significance prior to the end of 2009. I will run the half marathon in Regina at the Queen City Marathon in September 2008 (in less than 90 minutes). I will “run” the 2009 Spin off Spadina Triathlon one year from now. I will run the full Queen City Marathon in 2009 in an attempt to qualify for the Boston Marathon (3:10). I realize this is all very long range for me, and things can change; however, those are my goals as they stand, and effective immediately I’ll work to that end.  The half marathon in September will afford me some leniency during my busy summer; the triathlon next spring should provide me a more rounded fitness base before a long summer of marathon training in 2009.

An interesting note on the Triathlon idea.   I’d boasted to my friend Krista that a triathlon couldn’t be that hard.  I lobbied that a 1500 meter swim, 40 km bike ride, and 10 km run wouldn’t be that difficult compared to the 42 km marathon I’d just completed.  Yesterday I went for my first swim.  I did 14 lengths representing 350 meters.  I nearly drowned.  The lifeguard hovered in and around my general area at all times.  Today I can barely walk, it seems I have some work to do before next spring.

I feel better already.